Because Reality is Shit

by Kindergarten Hazing Ritual

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about

GK#79 c&p 2011 karaoke/khr

credits

released 21 August 2011

GRINDCORE CINEMA presents
"Because Reality is Shit"

Kindergarten Hazing Ritual has been for 10 years and shall continue to be Cory Monster, the guy that looks like Cory but damn sure isn't and Zombie Ninja Schmoe (and the Abominable Lord Crappyman).

Josef Motley wrecked shop on the intro.

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Track Name: Somehow He Contracted Self Diagnosed Aspergers
SOMEHOW HE CONTRACTED SELF DIAGNOSED ASPERGERS
What's wrong with me?
No one wants me?
Someone fix me!
He asked the screen
And in a flash he knew
Answers are so hard to come by
Don't know why you bother looking anymore
What if there's no answer?
What if you can't be fixed?
Most of us are fucked up
Most of us are too far gone
There's no pill they can sell you
To cure the face the jokes on everyone (and you)
Track Name: Attack of The Cannibal Quacks
ATTACK OF THE CANNIBAL QUACKS
TL;DR-ing the world
One apparent genius at a time
You get old
You give up
Get out of this game before you're gone with it
You think juggalos are bad?
This lot make otaku look good
Subculture on the skids
Hurry up and bang that keyboard bitch
Before the whole net sees her tits
Oh shnap, too late
Track Name: A Stripper Named Gertrude
A STRIPPER NAMED GERTRUDE
My eye, she yelled
Copper blinding her left
Itchy, burning
Tearing up
One more screamer
This ones a quarter
Bounces off the shin
Hopping off the stage in tears
Don't think she'll be back
Track Name: Paula Deen Sings The Hits: Twisted Sister
PAULA DEEN SINGS THE HITS: TWISTED SISTER
i once rubbed one out to her before photo
i have no sympathy
Actually, i'm going to rub one out to the after photo
Always nice when a life that would've been paid for by some sucker is cut short
Track Name: I Hope Some Dude From A Black Metal Band Takes a Picture of You After You Blow Your Brains Out
I HOPE SOME DUDE FROM A BLACK METAL BAND TAKES A PICTURE OF YOU AFTER YOU BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT
Rockstardumb 101
This is how it's really done
Booze, blow and groupies GO!
Found dead in the back of your van
Headbangers Ball at 3AM
Big energy drink sponsored fest
Booze blow and groupies go!
Found dead in the back of your van
Dead in the back of your van?!?
Yer livin' the dream
1 for the money, 2 for the ex....skip 3 and 4
1 for the money, 2 for the meth...skip 3 and 4
5 for rock star dumb
(Yo, why you be hatin')
We wanted to die at 27
Track Name: Jamie Bunker’s Power Mullet Says Gaiares is Pretty Awesome
JAMIE BUNKER’S POWER MULLET SAYS GAIARES IS PRETTY AWESOME
Awoke to the sounds of a mixed up young girl finding out first hand that fame ain't what it seems
Disappointment
Swift judgement
Dish it out, cannot take
Two hands clapping makes a wonderful sound for the dancing dartboard
Track Name: Ladies and Gentlemen, Schadenfruede and The Pips
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, SCHADENFRUEDE AND THE PIPS
They were born into money anyway
Who gives a fuck that they died
Drag racing in the cars they got for graduation
Drunk as fuck, tripping on ex
What a waste they say
Waste of our tax dollars
Digging up a family plot for these fucks
Chuck 'em in an urn
Chuck the urn in the river
Their deaths were fucking funny
On to the next one
Track Name: Imogen Heap Shall Serenade Them When They Die
IMOGEN HEAP SHALL SERENADE THEM WHEN THEY DIE
Cleavage and cat ears
Just asking for a stabbing
Practically begging
The voice a baby crying, chopped and screwed
Says "stab me, i'm a vapid cunt"
I don't know what you heard her say, but that's what i fucking heard
i read the title of the video
But it just reads "stab me, i'm a vapid cunt"
If nobody stops her now, she'll get a reality show
But at that point, it'll be legal to kill her on screen
Sweeps week gold for free
Track Name: I've Lost My Library Card, I'm in a K-hole, I'm a Prick
I'VE LOST MY LIBRARY CARD, I'M IN A K-HOLE, I'M A PRICK
it's always best when mistakes correct themselves
it doesn't matter how
Pills, blades, bullets, train tracks, ropes, doorknobs, chandeliers, cars, buildings and the dirty ground
When important work is done for us
We shouldn't complain, or feel ashamed
Track Name: Hellbent For Heathers
HELLBENT FOR HEATHERS
Girls don't grow up
They just grow old
Spend life trying to cover up
Unsightly mold
Go to brazil
And get yourself fixed
So you can lead guys
Around by thier dicks
She'll never make it
Never survive
If she actually has to work to stay alive
How will she acquire
Her free ride
If she cannot be objectified?
Must be sexy at any cost
If nobody wacks it to you you're lost
They're all creeps and pervs to you
But without their admiration
You feel like shit
Because the other girls will laugh at you
They're the ones you're really trying to impress
Just like the men, you're only after conquest
Track Name: Music For 13 Year Old Girls To Cut Themselves To (When They're Not Throwing Acid At Each Other)
MUSIC FOR 13 YEAR OLD GIRLS TO CUT THEMSELVES TO (WHEN THEY'RE NOT THROWING ACID AT EACH OTHER)
Self deformation for sympathy trip media gyp who let the secret slip? You? Thousands of sympathy dollars to spend several new friends open the paper to find that they felt for a phony a faker a scam look at them all disappointed to learn once again that a woman's word is worth shit for she’ll never accept responsibility for anything she does
Track Name: My Soul Infested with Swimming Horses of Blood
MUSIC FOR 13 YEAR OLD GIRLS TO CUT THEMSELVES TO (WHEN THEY'RE NOT THROWING ACID AT EACH OTHER)
Self deformation for sympathy trip media gyp who let the secret slip? You? Thousands of sympathy dollars to spend several new friends open the paper to find that they felt for a phony a faker a scam look at them all disappointed to learn once again that a woman's word is worth shit for she’ll never accept responsibility for anything she does
Track Name: The New Scared Straight (As Proposed by Tossed Salad Man)
THE NEW SCARED STRAIGHT (AS PROPOSED BY TOSSED SALAD MAN)
Teach the weaker children to make shanks out of pencils
School is prison anyway
Track Name: The Trend is Undead (The Great Zombie Trendkill - Fuck Yeah)
THE TREND IS UNDEAD (THE GREAT ZOMBIE TRENDKILL - FUCK YEAH)
You guys are supposed to be zombies, right?
That means it's okay if I shoot you all in the head
Track Name: Bomb Hollywood Before Michael Bay Makes Another Film
BOMB HOLLYWOOD BEFORE MICHAEL BAY MAKES ANOTHER FILM
We descend upon beverly hills with AK's in hand demanding 13 dollars each from every two bit hack and we will continue to fire until we get every cent back until we get every second back that was wasted on their so called "art" graphic violence for all audiences torch that fucking sign twist m. night's spine apart 'til he fucking crawls the bitterest, sweetest ending ever, no fucking sequel Snape kills Dumbledore, Neo and Trinity -die! die! die!
Track Name: Telemundo Estilo De Vila Masoquismo
TELEMUNDO ESTILO DE VILA MASOQUISMO
i only know half of what you're saying
But i know you're fucking mocking me
Eye-candy is a profitable export
And they don't even have to let you leave
I know you're mocking me
You don't even need to speak
Schadenfraude is the universal language
Track Name: The Christine Chubbuck Anniversary Special
THE CHRISTINE CHUBBUCK ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL
Fuck you if you have a reality show new rule if you’re gonna have people follow your around with cameras while you do fucking nothing you must die on screen it’s legal to kill you as long as it’s on camera lights, camera, violence
Track Name: Pissing on Your Kids Roadside Memorial
PISSING ON YOUR KIDS ROADSIDE MEMORIAL
Came to the funeral and made the following speech:
i wish I did it..but I didn't. so ha ha
It all worked out in the end, didn't it?
Track Name: The Perils of Penelope Pin-up
THE PERILS OF PENELOPE PIN-UP
You're just setting yourself up for disappointment

If you really think I'm going to listen to you

When i can just stare at your tits

You're exactly like the women that you claim to hate

And once you admit that to yourself, you'll feel no guilt

Because contrary to what you'd like to think

YOU ARE INCAPABLE!!!!

You're just a fucking porn star

Just a fucking porn star

Making your living at our expense

While clawing at each other (just like the women that you claim to hate)

Whatever statement you're making falls on deaf ears

And if you really wanted to make one, you wouldn't be here

Showing me twat shots from behind

I don't like your fucking mind

You have wasted your own time

Pandering to what you call slime

To those who claim empowerment

That isn't just at our expense

Your message was not ever sent

This tissues where it went

All subcultures end up the same

They become what they hate
Track Name: Quit Encouraging Bedroom Mosh Nintendo!
QUIT ENCOURAGING BEDROOM MOSH NINTENDO!
Standing in front of the TV in the basement
Waving my arms in motion around a lot
This is what it's come to
It's like porn, the vanilla isn't enough for you
You progressed to fucking furries
Next fucking gimmick
Virtual wrist cut with real blood
Track Name: Like an Autotune Giraffe
LIKE AN AUTOTUNE GIRAFFE
The next generation will only live to see the end depicted in several more movies, because it won't Actually come unfortunately
Good
Who gives a fuck about you
You'll only live on because the meek will kill themselves instead of you
And you'll live in happiness too
As long as you're protected from the gods awful truth
That it doesn't get better, for anyone
And no matter how rich you are, you'll never have enough
Sex is a spectator sport
Where no one wins
Everyone you look up to, died at 27
They're better off than you
They're better than you
You were born in the 90s
You missed everything
And no one wants you here
All your friends were mistakes, you probably were one too
Get your guns, correct yourselves, correct each other
They'll never remake battle royale in the US
So you've got to live it
It's your fucking duty
Go forth and die
Track Name: Loldongs? Fucking LOLDONGS?!!
LOLDONGS? FUCKING LOLDONGS?!!
We all hated elitism… until we realized how much fun it was
Track Name: Cannabis Mutants From Outer Space Washed My Dishes Yesterday, I Thanked Them and They Gave Me Free Tickets to a Michael Jackson Concert
CANNABIS MUTANTS FROM OUTER SPACE WASHED MY DISHES YESTERDAY I THANKED THEM AND THEY GAVE ME FREE TICKETS TO A MICHAEL JACKSON CONCERT
Mating call of the moron, coatracks and beerstands, envoking rule 34 gift accounts at erotic defenestration dot com for 2 dollars one day sale, sold to the man dressed up like pedobear for halloween, begging for change outside of McDonalds, we’re curbstompin’ divas, we’re throttlin’ alt models, pin-ups in peril tonight, model mayhem accounts get hacked
Track Name: I Just Fell Asleep and You Woke Me With Your Cannibalistic Soccer Errors
I JUST FELL ASLEEP AND YOU WOKE ME WITH YOUR CANNIBALISTIC SOCCER ERRORS
Poor kid he thinks there’s more chasing dreams down pipes getting stuck he has ceased to be he is no more in his place the bastard son of Beiber and a giraffe with downs and a lisp worse than Daffy Duck wires hooked up to his vocal chords so no one realizes how worthless he is gone for credit in the straight world he has died you were barely one of us but you’ll never be one of them and when you fall in love and lose your edge we’ll still be here calling for heads...